Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Will I stay or will I go? What if you are Scottish, in Scotland? What a dilemma! How would you vote? The No campaigners haven’t come across well, with their threatening and patronising points. And the Yes campaigners haven’t offered any concrete alternatives to the money, pensions, NHS and defence issues. But what little I know of the Scots, they have always wanted their own identity. We, the English just don’t get that, we don’t care so why should anyone else? We know we are a melting pot of raiders that didn’t go home. So where does that need for national identity end? Aren’t there a huge differences between the Highlanders and Lowlanders; Catholics and Protestants; Islanders or Mainlanders?

What else do I know about my Northern cousins? They tend to be thoughtful, reflective and compassionate. Probably more so than us Southerners would admit to anyway. But mainly, they are not stupid. Why bang on about them not knowing what is going to happen to them, as if they can’t possibly know? One of the traits that make us Islanders better at invention is our in-built belief that a problem can be solved, it’s only a question of thinking it through from different angles and the answer will come. And it usually does in Scottish, English, Welsh and Irish minds more than any other peoples on this planet.

Well imagine the Yes voters winning. Will the UK say they can’t use the pound? I don’t think so. Not until a debt repayment deal has been agreed.  Will the UK lend them money to get through this interim period? There will be Banks lining up to lend money at better rates than 0.5%. Will the EU welcome them straight in? It is possible Spain would block them as they don’t want to set a president with separatists getting special treatment by jumping the queue to get in. They don’t have to join the EU anyway, Norway isn’t doing to badly on their own.

And then there is Wales. I will move to Pembrokeshire and start an English freedom campaign to get Pembrokeshire annexed back to England, if those total tossers in the Senedd (Welsh version of Senate) get anymore powers to mess up. We now have the worst NHS in the UK and our education levels have gone from top equal with Northern Island to rock bottom (level with Clacton-on-Sea!). OK I did make that last bit up. No offence Clacton, you may well be better than those interviewed hoping to vote UKIP, last month.

As you can see, I have enjoyed venting my spleen, but once the adrenalin has stopped coursing through my Rioja hardened veins I really do believe we are better together.  Teams are always better than individuals at solving problems, there are enough of those on our near horizon. Good luck and may your God go with you.

Good Day, Sunshine!

Good day, sunshine...what a great song, positive and happy and yet there is a little melancholy lurking about. My little world is a happy world; I have just reduced my working hours to 4 days a week and tomorrow promises to be sunny. This is good, as I plan to chase a small white ball aimlessly around a few (18) well kept meadows.

But, I feel like I am left with my 3^rd form chums to play marbles in the corner of the playground while the thugs in the 6^th Form are squaring up for a fight. This fight has been brewing for a month or so, but the biggest lump is reluctant to start it. He needs to clear the air, as the other thugs have been stealing sweats from the juniors.

How have we got to this? Surely it is a lack of clear leadership from the outset? We should have blasted Assad off the map last year, then the extremists would not have got the upper hand with the opposition to Assad. Now we will have to fight Isis for years to come. Obama could have turned around to all his Arab friends and told them to get involved or lose his protection. As to Putin, ask the Ukraine if they want to join NATO and the EU. If they say yes, then tell the Ukraine to hold a referendum across the whole of the Ukraine for a majority mandate. If the vote comes back in favour then NATO will have to accept, and then the Mad House Elf will either have to start a nuclear war or withdraw. Simples.

I am not finished yet. We in the UK, and I, are just as guilty as the rest, of opposing any more conferral with those spendthrift twats in Brussels and Strasbourg . But now we need to think again. Shouldn’t we have a combined force with our old “friends” with their genetic ability to march in time and drive Panzers? Those Ruskies won’t like it up ‘em. Don’t think the good people of Ohio will be in a hurry to join in any land fight in Europe until it’s nearly over. Now is the time to join forces, when we have a common enemy, we do have two fronts opening up...has this happened before?

Who will be our Churchill? Can’t imagine earnest Ed rallying the troops, shiny Dave has lost his credibility, nauseating Nick won’t come up to muster...but hey, who is this coming over the horizon with a big adam’s apple and smile like a crocodile...its Nige! Help!!!  Please come back, Boris!

Gliding at 63!

I have got to 63 and discovered a new sport, Gliding! Sally and I were treated to an evening of gliding, as a present for our Ruby Wedding Anniversary (40 years!) from a dear friend. We each had a turn, sitting in the front with an in structure strapped in behind. He had control while we went through a steep take off. The glider was pulled down a long field by a powered winch at a rate of 0 to 60 in 4 seconds! It was similar to being a passenger in a Ferrari being driven flat out. The G force was exhilarating. The hook drops off at 900 feet and we are free, faint sound of wind rushing passed (it wasn’t me) gliding over the Usk Valley. After no more than a minute the instructor hands over control to you. To accelerate, push the lever between your legs (steady) about 4 inches and the nose dips. The speed indicator moves up from 45 knots to 50 knots immediately. To come back up, do the reverse. To turn, lean the lever to bank in the direction you wish to turn, it’s that simple. It was brilliant, better than sailing or sculling, we were both hooked!

It really is never too late to learn new tricks. But there are no tricks to successful selling, it’s quite the opposite. I am often told that the worst thing a salesman can do is to pester the customer. It is a fine line to tread, as you do not want to appear uninterested but neither do you want to appear desperate either. Even after 45 years of selling I still get nervous about the outcome of a quote, and then really chuffed when I get the order, it is such a personal feeling, like a faithful dog relishing a pat on the head.  What does that say about me Mr Freud? I need to be loved...regularly....

More embarrassing revelations will be revealed next week. 

Phew

Phew, what a test match! Cookie scores some runs and the team are inspired, leadership and team work.  It really does work.

Did you see the programme on Watch HD, last night, called Million Dollar Intern? I recommend you try to catch it or certainly try to watch next week’s version. It has been running since the 10th of July but I only came across it last night and I am really fired up!

In a nut shell, this old duffer and feisty wife run a double business: downstairs is an old book shop and upstairs is classical tea room in a rich Midlands town centre. The old duffer is depressed and has lost his drive, convinced the business is going to hit the buffers soon, while feisty wife is making a real go of her business upstairs. He realises he needs to do something and so enlists this young entrepreneur to come in, disguised as a new low paid employee, to spy on the business and come up with a plan to turn it around. I am not going to go into more detail, as you may be able to catch up with the programme, suffice it to say his recommendations are tough but they do work.

What really comes across and why I am so wired today is how much energy you need to work on your business, and you MUST be passionate and committed. Obviously, I hear you say, but remember it takes 10,000 hours to get really good at any skill, like flying, sailing, golf or manufacturing.

The time to relax and sit back is when you have sold the business and you are on that world cruise, ready for a massive heart attack!

Have a good weekend.

The Bad Moon really has risen

The Bad Moon really has risen; perhaps it’s too early to make any pointed comments about the Malaysian Airways second disaster.  I refer to my earlier comments, it may not be a bad idea to go and chop some wood, as there probably won’t be a lot of gas flowing this winter.

Changing back to more philosophical matters.

A customer of mine talked about how almost all really successful companies start with a good idea, they work from their sitting rooms and garage, gradually moving into proper premises. All good so far, then the biggest danger period begins. Suddenly there are lots of extra costs, lots more distracting problems, that aren’t anything to do with the core business. Before you know it you have taken your eye off the ball, expenses have overtaken income and very hard decisions need to be made.

Quite often inventors are not that good at communicating, these are sometimes known as geeks. The secret here is to know your short comings and weaknesses. Bring in people that can manage your weak areas and value them, because without them you are going nowhere. I have seen it so often where the “founder” really resents paying these “hangers-on”, his words not mine. But these helpers should be looked at as partners not servants. Every hour they handle tedious problems, is another hour to give the founder the time to get on with your area of expertise. It’s called team work.

About four years ago I went on a course at Swansea University, it was called LEADWales. I had visions of learning to be Die Moses leading the Welsh back across the Severn estuary, which had miraculously opened up before us. Being pursued by Arthur Scargill and his army of Soviet backed thugs!  I have said this before; it was a really good course, in my view. I was going through a very sticky time with my own company, and the help and advice that came from my fellow travellers was very welcome indeed. But what really changed my whole attitude to business and enterprise was two different forms of psychometric testing, and then analysis.  I realised that I wasn’t best suited to be the sole leader of my little enterprise.  My strengths were in getting business for the company, encouraging my staff, listening, but most importantly being a team player!

I was quite taken aback, but then I thought about my main sport, rowing in 8s and 4s. You can’t get more team player than that!  Anyway, life or events happened beyond my control and Trim Tech had to be wound up. It was then that my lesson or self realisation (with the help of Belbin et al) that I made the choice to join a team and have not looked back, happy days.

Lastly I mentioned that it takes 10,000 hours of hard work and practise to be really good at anything worthwhile, I think the more you think about this the more you realise this is about right. Look at an Olympian or dare I say it professional sports man.  Really last thoughts, Germany won the world cup because they were the best team, we won the war because of the team of geeks in Bletchley Park! See how I did that, geeks and team work.

The party’s over.....

The party’sover.....or is it? I hope so, all that hype and nothing to show for it again. Let’s go back to amateur sports where all they had to play for is the pride of representing their country. Watching hapless hairdressers (no offence to real hairdressers) trotting about missing the ball then collapsing when any opposition player tackles them, is cringeworthy. Notice how quickly these fairies (you guessed it, no offence to those little creatures found at the bottom of the garden, only visible to those that may have over indulged in smoking something mixed in with their ‘baccy), recover once they have been ignored or they realise they have convinced the poor old ref it really does hurt.

The real game starts today at Headingly. Whoever doubts that test cricket can be exciting didn’t see the last 15 overs, last week at Lords. The game was heading for an uneven draw, when England started to knock over some hard fort for wickets. It then looked possible we could bowl them out and secure a win. Last over (6 balls) with two wickets remaining, first ball of the last 6, a wicket, 4^th ball (second to last ball of the 5 day game!) it looked like we had won with a plumb LBW, only to find out with a slow motion replay the ball had hit the bat first. No one cried, kissed anyone or fell over feigning injury, they just clapped the opposition and shook hands, fair play all round.

And that surely must be the theme of any relationship, employment or business deal? Anything else would fall under the heading of dodgy. When this happens (being lied to, or deliberately miss informed for someone else’s gain), doesn’t that make you feel let down and fed up?  But then if the other party realises what they had done, comes back, apologises, then puts it right, that sometimes has a stronger reaction in the positive direction. (Unless you have jumped your wife’s younger sister, apologies may not be enough!).  But in less tricky situations, you quickly shove all your cross feelings back under the sink and let that wonderful warm wave of relief wash over you. That person you had faith in isn’t a dastardly blaggard after all.

Don’t know where any of this came from, my wife doesn’t have a younger sister, so I am in the clear! Life seems fair at the moment, the sun has got its hat on, hip, hip hurray... and we are off to Solva for the weekend tonight. Solva in the sun is rare (Westests and wettest, West Wales), so when it is sunny it even beats the Maldives.  It’s nearly Pimms o’clock!

Here Comes The Sun

Here comes the sun, dodo do too, here comes the sun.... it just makes you smile when the sun is out and the warmth spreads through you. No I haven’t wet myself, I think.  All those stats coming out of the government, you would think we were piling up so much wealth now. Umm, well not yet. The orders are coming in a little more steadily, and some projects have moved along a little more, but no sign of that much used word BOOM. We aren’t going to boom until those lazy Euro piglets pull their snouts out of the EUtrough and do some work.

I like the word boom, and in fact Baldrick (one of the great philosophers of our time) made up a poem called Boom, boom, boom, boom. Well I hope that made you smile, that is my sole purpose in sending out these epistles. 

 While I am not a fan of Jim Carrey, as he makes me feel uncomfortable in the same way as a British farce does. But I did watch him give a speech at a Business schoolgraduation ceremony. Some of what he said I did like. I apologise right now if I miss quote him, as I scribbled down notes while I listened to the full 26 minutes of his speech. Here we go, 

“Love and fear, being at the two extremes of our emotions. Use love to dream, stop wishing, and get on and try.”

 I like that. 

“Fear, we use practicality, caution, logic (my word) to try to avoid what we fear.” 

He then told us about his father that didn’t think that he (his father) could make it as a comedian, so he became an accountant. (We all know some accountants that that are comedians.) After a few years, his father lost his job and had to re-train as something else. 

“You can fail at what you don’t want, so why not take a chance on doing what you love?” 

I like that one too. How many times have you muttered to yourself, bugger, I should have used my driver in the first place, as you watch your cautious 5 iron shot disappear into the woods?

And lastly:

“Hope is the beggar; its faith that will drive you to heap over your obstacles.” 

Not religious faith but faith in your own abilities.

Smile and make somebody happy!

Aaagh football in the summer!

Aaagh football in the summer! What’s worse, is that our cricket team is sliding back to less than mediocre again. At least we can stay outside and enjoy balmy evenings around a barbecue with a glass of vino, if it just stops raining. Whatever happened to global warming? I think it should be called global soaking.

It is so difficult to believe either side of the climate change argument, there seems to be campaigners on both sides with vested interests. Even University professors have been exposed as dodgy liars. Is it down to lies, damn lies and statistics? We do need to conserve our reserves, and so on that point alone I think we should continue to develop more efficient ways that will slow down the use of these precious reserves.

What about the poor old liberals, I do feel sorry for them. These, supposedly, honest people with no particular axe to grind are not wanted.  Why not have a party for faffers, sorry that is the liberal party. Politics has always been brutal and in Britain nothing has changed, there is no place for innocent, decent thought in that Punch and Judy show called parliament. I think that is why most of us walk away in disgust with the whole lot of them.

For once I support the media in overdoing something; all this D-Day stuff is a great reminder of what our parents had to cope with trying to overcome tyranny. Didn’t see many Germans though, and all those wonderful Stalinists are too busy elsewhere.

Not much mention here about work related thoughts, all quiet on the western front. Only to say we have to conduct long term relations on trust and honesty. Honesty is the hardest test, we try to be good but we all make mistakes. The true test is how do we put things right. In business there are few sayings that I think are worthy of repeating, sods law is the only law that works; if it can go wrong, it will; if you think you should do something, do it; listen to your gut feeling.

Be careful out there.

I'm Free.............!

I am free! The boot is off and I have been out seeing customers, and it feels so good. I love my job, it doesn’t feel like a job, going to see my old chums, enjoyer the banter, catching up. Of course there is pressure to win new business, but then we are hunter gatherers, so why not enjoy the chase?

That old chestnut, motivation.  Most of us need to work to pay the bills and so on, that is some form of motivation, but if we enjoy our work as well, that makes life a lot easier. So then we need a challenge, mine is not only to win new business but to keep current customers happy with what we do, and how we do it. As a salesman one needs to be a micro business owner. Your customers see you, not the whole of your company, you are the company. This was easy for me when I owned Trim Technology, but this feeling hasn’t changed one jot since going in with Darren and Dave. If anything it has helped me go to another level of satisfaction. What I can contribute now gives me the extra buzz one gets from sharing. It is a real buzz and you won’t read that any academic text book (they are full of salami sliced guff regurgitated over and over again, usually written by weird American academics that never left the cosy confines of their stuffy Universities).

I don’t want to take up too much of your time this week, just to leave you with the picture of me with a silly grin on my face.

Nearly forgot, if anyone is near the Celtic Manor this Sunday morning, some middle aged, over weight golfer may burst into song!

Slightly connected to this, Sally and I sing in a community choir, Cardiff City Voices. There are about 180 of us. We sing for charity and our main concert is on 28^th and 29^th June in  BBC Hoddinott Hall - Wales Millennium Centre.Some of the numbers we will be singing include Shine; California Dreaming; Both Sides Now; Creep; I say a little prayer for you; Fix You, and many more. Come along! 

Ditch The Boot!

2 more days to go, then I can ditch the plastic boot! The weather is starting to get warmer, little chicks are being persuaded to leave the nest, more of that later. But don’t cast a clout till May is out, you might know that this refers to May blossom, not the month.

I am going to break my own rule here and mention UKIP. I had a long discussion with someone, whose opinion I value. I started by saying I was thinking of putting in a protest vote by voting UKIP, to make the other parties sit up and worry that they can’t take us for granted. His reply was forthright and persuasive. If you vote for these awful people and they do well in these elections, they will bolster the extreme right wing standing in Europe and carry greater credibility towards the real election to come. I feel suitably admonished, and will not be voting UKIP now.

Since we are poking around the forbidden territory, please stay with us Scotland 

and yes ask for and get your own proper Parliament, with full tax raising powers. This way we all win, you get self rule but remain part of GB. We can reduce the numbers of free loaders in our Parliament.

Wouldn’t it be great if you couldn’t stand for a seat if you haven’t worked in a proper job for 5 years, and Universities drop silly subjects like politics and all those meaningless "ologies".  Law should be even harder academically to get onto, as we have too many ambulance chasers. We need more engineers and project managers, so make these free.

I am enjoying this rant, can we go back to educating children instead of showing them how to beat the system? I remember we had a pretty mediocre history teacher that had come from teaching at a local grammar school. We were in the 5th form, coming up for our O levels in the summer, he showed us what they were doing at the state grammar school, they would get the past O level papers going back 5 years and work out the likely questions or essays that will come up next time, then concentrate on 5 essays knowing 3 of these will come up. He was right, but we all failed as he had given us the wrong dates. We re-sat them in the autumn, using notes from the good history teacher we had in the 3rd and 4th Form. Most of us then got good pass marks.  If this was typical of state schools in the 60s what are they up to now?

Back to business, and yes marketing is going to get it in the neck again. It was in the late 90s that Marketing as an industry was finally being exposed as the emperor’s new clothes it always was. So some bright spark came up with this astounding phrase, Relationship Marketing. No s**t Sherlock! People in sales know that people buy from people, so no one is going to buy from someone they can’t stand. So now they (Marketing Wallahs) jumped on this as the new way ahead. Nothing in the word of direct selling had changed from the time that Ug asked Og to have a chat over a skull of fermented apple juice while Ug shows Og his new product, a flat, round stone with a hole through the middle.


We all have to work, so why don’t we try to enjoy it, that is my raison d'être. Happy hunting! Or if you are a little chick, soft landing.

Sell in May and Go Away

Well looking at the weather, it does sound a good idea. I think the saying was from a bygone era, referring to city brokers taking the summer off to do the season (Cowdray Park, Ascot, Wimbledon, Royal Henley, Cowes Week and Glorious Goodwood) before the yobs from the East End (1980s) took over the City. Now it’s just a giant betting office, buying and selling jobs by the nanosecond.

You’ve guessed it, I am going through a serious bout of cabin fever, but I have been advised by my number one daughter  to keep clear of unions and teachers, hurrumph. I did promise to stay away from politics and soccer, so I will.

But as to the meaning of life, well, that’s another matter; we can all have a go at that. God botherers stop reading NOW.

I was telling you about Donna Tartt’s “The GoldFinch”, and what an enlightening read that was. Well I am half way through “The Universe verses Alex Woods,” by Gavin Extence. Not in the same beautifully written league but more like Adrian Mole finds insight through the eyes of a Vietnam War Veteran, living in Somerset. Nothing too strange there, but we get an introduction to the writings of Kurt Vonnegut. In fact if you Google Kurt Vonnegut, you can read many of his famous sayings, this one appeals to me, 

A bit deep perhaps, most of his work IS enlightening and funny, as you may well know. But I think I will have a go at reading one or two of his novels again, as we had to read lots different books at school, which were probably wasted on spotty, hormonal, teenagers. Like most things were. I do remember one of our more trendy teachers playing  us “Silent Night” by Simon and Garfunkel, which was a little haunting, as a couple of our class mates were due to return to the USA to enlist for Vietnam (that dates me), but I was alive in 1967, what a year for music! The next week he played us something about “All the good times we have wasted, having good times” (Animals) in evening prayers. He was too caring and left to have a nervous breakdown.

Back to work, we stopped half way through my rant against formal marketing originations / departments by recommending direct forms of marketing, as they can be measured. I was only just warming up when I realised I had gone into my third page so needed to stop.

We do make a dedicated range of products and therefore what I am about to describe may be interesting to those that do the same. And that is we started using “pay per click” on Google. Here are the figures (approximate). We started our campaign in 2011 and committed to spend £250 a month, and in our first year we landed £50,000 of orders, at no other sales cost. In 2012 we upped our monthly spend to £500 a month and returned £ 112,000. Last year we went mad and committed to £1000 a month and you have guessed it, we landed £220,000 of sales. Don’t reach for your calculators….that is 17 times our investment. We did try £1250 for a couple of months but we seemed to have peaked at just over £200,000 turnover from £12,000 spent. Happy days, it works!

Ah well, you must be making a wonder product that no one else has jumped on, I hear you muttering! Well, try bespoke ring binders. Not that exciting, but we do it well and get more than 50% repeat custom on these. Membrane switch panels are closer to 90% repeat custom. The point I am hoping to make is that this form of marketing, alongside more direct action does work, and most importantly is both measurable and controllable when it comes to expenditure.

Here endeth my 7th lesson. Nearly... we play a drinking game to watch the Eurovision Song Contest, it really is great fun, you draw lots for a quantity of countries and every time one gets 12 points the owner of that country has to down a pint or a large glass of vino, it really was over when the bearded lady sang, such fun!

What A Reply!

What a reply, please have a read of this one from last week’s instalment, it really made me chuckle:

“You can play some interesting tricks with Pareto's rule.”

Assuming you only did the 20% most productive tasks next week. Your productivity would be 400%  but  your production would only be  80% of its starting value. By applying the same rule repeatedly you could achieve similar status to the proverbial professor who ' learned more and more about less and less until finally he knew everything about bugger all!' . 

While this is a great reply please don’t be distracted from the law of 80/20. These examples may cheer you up or not...... 

80% of people die from 20% of the most common causes. 

80% of your headaches come from 20% of your worst customers. I think we are nearer to 95/5. 

Let’s leave that idea alone for a moment as I would like to take swipe at Marketing. My ankle is getting better but I am beginning to get stir crazy. So let me tell you a story.... 

 Going back to my early days I worked for a large paper company. They were a big company with thousands of staff and millions of Turnover. They had 120 reps, 40 Sales Managers and 15 Branch managers, not to mention all the other staff working in the 20 paper mills. As well as this, they had marketing people that were employed to “back sell” each of the different paper mills products. This often proved less than helpful as the idea was to make a profit. Two points here, if you couldn’t get a job selling at the front line, because you were too scared to go and see customers, you could always get one of these “soft” jobs. This meant resulted in engendering a feeling of resentment amongst true sales force towards those pathetic idiots in Marketing who were being paid without having to hit targets. The second problem was these reps weren’t able to tell us which paper from which mill returned the best profit margin. So as Salesmen we had to ignore their message as it was of no use to us at all. In other words marketing was a drain on the company. 

I am glad to say nothing I have read or experienced has been able to change my complete contempt for anything labelled marketing. Oh I am enjoying this, getting all my venom flowing for these feckless people in a fraudulent industry.

To cap it all, we had a module on the part time degree course I went on, mentioned earlier, called Marketing. 

 Can you image the blood thirsty thoughts I had brewing at the very start of this? Well I was not disappointed; our lecturer had taken an extended holiday on the end of the summer break, they do have such a tough time having to make do with just 8 weeks summer holidays, and in doing so had forgotten to change the course assignment details from the year before. This meant that the first 4 weeks of a 10 week module was spent trying to work with literature that didn’t match the course notes, with a temporary lecturer that had never covered this type of course.
The responsible Lecturer eventually turned up and came in to face the music, he was genuinely bewildered and then deflated by some of the tough comments put forward by some of his annoyed adult students. He left and never returned. The only shame is these useless creatures will never get sacked by their colleges, as the college administrators have their hands tied by trade unions (another institution that has come to my notice over the years and will not get off lightly). Why would any school or college take on a member of the NUT, surely there is a clue in the name? 

Having got that off my chest, the principle of finding out what companies/people want, and what are our potential customers prepared to pay for these products is vitally important to all of us. We have looked at (and taken on board) the premise that innovation is the one way we know that will get us ahead, on the proviso we know that this innovation is relevant and  that our customers or potential customers will want it. This comes under market research.
We don’t work in huge conglomerates with massive marketing budgets. Let them waste their money; we need to be a lot more careful with our precious hard earned cash. So how can we make sure what we spend will work. Forget Branding, Market place presence and other useless catch phrases. Here are the three simple words we need to think about:- 

RETURN ON INVESTMENT (ROI)

Put simply, we are here to make money. And we only have our own hard earned cash to use, so don’t set aside a marketing budget; remember there are plenty of these feckless idiots and charlatans ready to squander your money. It won’t be easy. My old rowing coach would bellow through his mega phone “nothing great is ever easy” when we started to flag after an hour and a half of rowing at steady state (90/95% max heart rate). 

Only venture what you can measure. Direct marketing can be measured by spending a certain amount on direct mail shots with a return card. This will work for some enterprises,   but does need a lot of thought. Is your business the kind that would benefit from this approach? Do you make specific products, do you know who to target and what will they respond to? These are tried and tested, quite effective, a little dated but can be measured. 

What about using the World Wide Web?! I can just imagine Rob Brydon’s raised eye brows as this gob-smacking thought hits him, as if he is the first one to think it (Gavin & Stacey.2008)

Sorry this is going on a bit so in the tradition of a Charles Dickens' instalment I will continue next week. 

Nothing to add about the mad house elf, he is getting away with it, so far. The Tar Tars don’t like the Russians and don’t have a history of surrendering.

Back to work

Back to work with hop, skip and a crunch, the good news is that my plaster cast is off after only 10 days, but I do have to wear a large plastic boot for the next 4 weeks. Meant to keep it raised, just try to sit and type with one leg in the air! I will need a hip replacement instead. 

Sorry that sounds like a moan when in fact I am in a good place. With all the time on my back (steady), I managed to read the latest book by Donna Tartt, the Goldfinch. This has already won the Pulitzer Prize for literature. Don’t know if fiction is your bag but every now and then a really extraordinary book comes along. This is only her third book since 1992 but worth the wait.

I loved the life a PI, it was such an improbable adventure but the Goldfinch is right up there with East of Eden. I can’t recommend it strongly enough. 

Back to business, you have heard of the Pareto principle (80/20). It was Vilfredo Pareto that discovered the correlation between the richest 20% of the world that owned 80% of the wealth. Vilfredo was a French economist 1848-1923. Reported to be a, socialist, bit before his time really. Never the less research carried out since then makes interesting reading:

• 80% of people live in 20% of the towns (we are herding beast I suppose). 
• 80% of crime is committed by 20% of the criminals (It’s the Mad House Elf again). 
• 80% of profits come from 20% sales (interesting, worth exploring more, later). 
• 80% of ALL your results come from just 20% of your work (Now that IS interesting). 

There are many more natural phenomena that come close to these figures too, but let us return to the work related ones, as we are meant to be working. This information is quite eye opening. We are working at a much greater pace than our parents ever did, not physically, but coping with many more processes. We do our own typing; send our own mail; work our own telephone switchboard; arrange our own business travel, mostly. We now have so many “helpful” gadgets to get keep us in touch. We are encouraged to use social media, Facebook, Twitter, twatter and so on. We are busy, but then are we too busy? Sit back and think, 80% of our results come from 20% of our efforts. Each working day of a week is a 5th or 20%, mmm, so we could just spend Monday doing all our normal work. Then work at something different for each of the next 4 days, and then you may end up 5 times more productive/ richer! Or slow down, relax, who would know? 

Well I hope this has given you food for thought, it has made me think.

Glad that week has gone

Glad that week has gone.  I went into hospital last Wednesday (16^th), to have an operation on my Achilles heel.  Booked in at 7am but didn’t go down till 3pm. Long, nervous wait. By then all my veins had gone into hiding, the anaesthetist had to poke around in the back of both hands to establish a reasonable pipe line. What was worse, they have stopped giving out pre-meds, I was looking forward to that wonderful drift you got from the equivalent of 5 double gin’n’ its, in one slug. Really thirsty when I came round so drank about 6 jugs of water over the next few hours, then tried to piss, nothing doing...AHHH. Panic started to build as my bladder pressure increased until I called the night nurse (a bloke!). How things have changed for the worse. I remember when the night nurse had a dark blue uniform, starched hat and cuffs, and was always alluring. This guy was from Turkistan or somewhere ex USSR, was very pleasant but not sure he understood my sense of urgency. Anyway, half an hour later (which seemed like 5 hours) he arrived with a junior doctor and a medicine trolley. This 15 year old (boy) doctor suggested putting a tube down my willie, which did sound a bit frightening but a burst bladder was feeling more imminent!

That was not very comfortable, I can tell you, but what a relief, I filled two bags within an hour! Sorry I know that was a bit grim, but it’s over and done with, over and done with...

I am sitting up at home on the sofa sharing my experiences with you, there will be some better stuff coming.

Did I tell you I had completed a year of a Foundation Degree in Business and Enterprise (part time) at the local poly (University of South Wales, but just the old poly renamed)? Started year two but ran out of patience with the trite garbage they tried to call marketing. Well the next module, which we started, was on innovation management. This had all the markings of another dollop of offal, but their opening premise is worth repeating; you may be the best at making the highest quality product/service, your competitor could catch up; you may be the most competitive but there are always some companies that will buy business; you may be the most reliable, but your competitors could improve too. So what can we do? The answer; with innovation can you stay ahead. Quite simple to say but is it possible?

Have a look at the link below; Steve Blank has summed it up well, talking to his graduating MBA students from Barcelona’s Business School. It is worth reading right through and keeping, MDs take note. That reads quite bossy but I am sure you know I am just being enthusiastic.

http://www.inc.com/steve-blank/commencement-speech-esade-business-school.html

I hope you have all had a good Easter break, let’s hit the ground running; some of us may be hopping...

Bad Moon Rising

Bad Moon Rising, start gathering wood, the gas supply may run out! The Mad House Elf is having fun, “Planet Earth is blue and there is nothing I can do”.

What a funny week that was, and this one looks just as tense.  Meanwhile the show must go on, the sun is out, the traffic is light and Nick lost his second debate. Should we stay or should we go-ho?

I now know how the Scots must have felt when they were threatened by “our” politicians. They couldn’t have the pound and they wouldn’t be allowed to have the Euro either. Not the best approach when you are trying to be warm and friendly. To say we will lose all our trade with Europe is surely not reason enough to support fat cats in Brussels and the bent agricultural scheme. We have enough fat cats of our own in the City. But we would be stupid to ignore that possibility, and that is a valid thought. Be ready for change, so when it happens you won’t be wrong footed.

The visit of the Irish President Michael D Higgins was really great, we do need to strengthen our relations with Ireland, they give the best parties ever!

Until next time!

There Is Something In The Air..

There is something in the air, no, not the pollution being blown over from the continent. It’s almost like the lull before the storm.

We are quietly getting on with things while the world continues to turn. Strange days are here again. What is the ”Mad House Elf“ brewing up now?  We can’t do anything about it anyway, not unless he invades a country that wasn’t in the Soviet Block, even then who has the nerve to stand up to him?

Changing tack completely, I went to a dinner last night at Swansea University, it was the first meeting of the LEAD Wales alumni, which both Dave Dean and I had completed a couple of years ago. The main speaker was Paul Thorburn. He didn’t look much older than when he kicked, the still world record distance, penalty to win the championship. 

He compared his business learning curve to that of the Welsh Rugby Union at the end of their golden years.  They took too long to replace their old favourites, the game turned professional, Australia poached one of Wales’ best coaches and gave him a completely free hand to make changes.

OK, to those non rugby fans this could get dull, but his message was clear to us in business, look ahead, don’t take your customers for granted and expect change. Pretty simple really but refreshing to be reminded of these positive thoughts and comparisons from another walk of life.

I thought it was similar to the way I drive, look a long way ahead, expect the prat in front to behave erratically, keep an eye on the mirror for the fuzz and enjoy the music (Led Zeppelin/Cream for me).

Keep your head down, something is going to break!  Bad Moon Rising...

Did You Miss Me?

Winter is trying to come back but business is definitely on the up. Even better news, the clocks go forward this week end so evenings will get longer.  I have made a couple of rules with my epistles, no politics and no soccer! However all us that are going grey must feel a lot better at not having to convert our pathetic pensions into pitifully mean annuities?

I am not coveting a Lamborghini, but a small sailing yacht moored in a warm harbour, certainly has is appeal! I hope Sigmund Fraud isn’t reading this. It’s just fun to dream.

If we don’t have dreams then we won’t find it easy to be motivated about working for the future.

No one likes being “scammed”, so we have designed a credit/cash card/oyster card holder that is strong enough to shield your cards from most scammer scanners, if not all of them. We have been selling these on eBay. So far individuals have ordered from our range of different designs until a large County Council just ordered 1000.

It is only when you see people face to face that ideas flow, I showed this RFID shielded card holder to one of my plastics suppliers, told him all about it and he asked me for a price list as these would make a perfect corporate gift. I hadn’t considered this at all, but they are quite small, easy to print digitally and don’t cost much in volume.

If you are interested then please email me a pdf of your design and we will make you a sample free of charge.

Positive thinking!

Just when we think we are coming out of recession the Mad House Elf wants to grab back the Crimea. Could this plunge the world back into doom and gloom?

Well maybe, but the days are getting longer and the daffs are out, I even spotted a tree in blossom driving through Kent last week. Business is definitely picking up.  We have noticed the change from speculative enquiries to positive orders. It’s not so much of “what will these cost” but more of “when can we have them!”

The rugby was good, and even as a loan Englishman living amongst, and with, Welsh rugby fanatics, it was good to see Brian O’Driscoll go out on a high. The Irish Team do need to bring in some younger players now; Wales and England have much younger players. But where does Scotland go now? They seem to do well in the autumn internationals but falter in the Six Nations.

On another note, please don’t leave us Scotland, we are stronger together!Countries and Companies are all about people. Surely it is always better to see the positive attributes in others. Events do their best to undermine this, but that is our challenge to overcome.

Welcome to Harry's Humbuggeries!

It's been a while since we last spoke and I just thought I would get in touch and let you know how I'm doing.

You probably remember that we successfully merged with Screentec some time ago and, touch wood, business is going from strength to strength at the moment.... to the point where I was able to get a well earned short break recently.

Now I know that someone else’s holiday stories can be dull, but not always. We had two weeks in Cuba, on an all inclusive package, next to the sea. Yes it was great, but for a completely unexpected reason.

The service was second to none; When we arrived, stressed and fractious after a 10 hour flight, we then needed to queue up to check in, two coaches had arrived together. We were all given a rum punch and introduced to the hotel manager, who chatted to all of us while the queue went down quickly, as they had put on extra staff to cope. 

There is the clue, Luis, the manager was on hand 12 hours a day. He introduced us to all his managers on the second morning, while plying us with rum punches. Sally blew up the hair dryer before going down to supper. I spoke to a nice young lady on reception and by the time we staggered back to our room a new one was there.

One of our Canadian friends had moaned about the towels not being changed often enough, this was corrected immediately, and a lobster supper awarded to them.

Luis even came onto our coach to say good bye, and hope we would come back. I have a lump in my throat thinking about it. 

Surely there is a lesson for all of us managers, going that extra mile really is worth it and I'd like to think that the whole team here at Screentec do just that!

All the very best

Harry